where have the last ten years gone?

Seriously, what did I just do in the last ten years? Lots of things really

graduated high school

went to college

graduated college

went back to school for no particular reason a few times

traveled to many countries

decided to vote for the first time and hated it

had too many different jobs

fell in and out of love too many times

lost weight, gained weight

got older

partied hard and harder...a lot of debaucherous behaviour of all sorts

but most importantly, i became more fabulous.

2010, bring it, bitch.

i always had a thing for mr. leto

My roommate

thinks i am the fountain of knowledge. he's the best

busy bee boring bee

I don't even know where time has gone or is going. The summer flew by. I was pretty busy for the most part. Actually, probably the busiest most eventful summer I've ever had in hellacious LA. It was definitely nice to live near the beach because it wasn't so bloody hot.

I feel like I've literally been all over the place since August. I went to Vegas for a hot minute in August with Ed. I lost too much money. It was tragic. I hate Vegas.

In September I went to Memphis Tennessee to visit my friend Tori who was visiting from England. This was my first experience in a "southern" state and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Memphis is home of the blues and Beale street was fantastic. I could see myself living there. I was also there for her birthday which was even nicer. We went to Graceland on her birthday and the night before, we got shit faced on Beale street. It was nice to see Tori again and reunite after 2 years. It really didn't feel like it had been two years since we had seen each other; that's how awesome our friendship is.

Two weeks later I was in New York city. I fucking love NYC so it was great to go back. The last time I went was with Miriam in 2003, I think. NY was nice. I was pretty much trying to see if I would like to live there. Obviously I would because NY is awesome. I got to see some people that I hadn't seen in ages. Georgette and Joe were really generous and awesome and wonderful and they helped me out a lot. I owe them. I also got to see my old roommate and hot mess Bianca and her boyfriend Chris. Thanks again to Chris for hanging out with me when I was bored to tears. I had an awesome time hanging out with Bianca in the East Village and being ridic with a bunch of gays- our favorite. Bananas. I ventured out to Jersey to visit my bro and sister in law which was nice. Overall, I had a great time in NYC and can't wait to go back.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Could I be all over the fucking map? I went for a family wedding which was pretty nice. I had never really spent much time in PA and I had never been to Pittsburgh. From what I saw, it was nice. I had never really seen the fall season in full effect until then. The changing of the leaves is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I felt like such a dork driving around and saying out loud how gorgeous it all was. I think I need to live some place that has all 4 seasons. The trip back was the most exhausting 3 flight way home that I'm taking a break from travel for a month or two. I'm also broke.

Work is sparse and I'm super broke. I'm trying to find a part time job to have some sort of income but nothing is coming up. Oh well. Jah will provide!

all is well in the universe once again

There has been a serious food void in my life in the last 2 years. I have searched the USA far and wide in search of this delicious flavor of chips but all results have come up empty. You simply cannot find paprika flavored Pringles in the United States. My dad just returned from a 3 week trip to Italy so I've been patiently and excitedly waiting for him to arrive so that I could relive the taste sensation that are paprika flavored Pringles. Some might say they taste like BBQ but no, they are different and they are delicious and rather addictive. This shit throws me back to hot Roman summers, booze,and Italian men. Mmmm Italian men...With that said, I shall treasure these 7 canisters of paprika flavored Pringles and be the greediest bitch in the world. Yum yum yum...You may also think I'm nuts to be so obsessed with a flavor of Pringles so I decided to see if I was alone in my quest to find this deliciousness in the USA and Google proved me sane. I am not the only one looking for these in the US so that was very reassuring. With that said, I'm off to consume more of these chips and be merry.

summer

I'd have to say that summer is in full swing. Although the weather where I'm at is far from sweltering hot, it's still summer nonetheless. June just kinda breezed by. The hostel opened on the 15th for travelers. It has not been a busy summer unfortunately. We're kinda hurting for more business. This past weekend was pretty grim. So if anyone knows of anyone coming to the LA area between now and September 13th, tell your friends about Hostelling International South Bay. My manager also made me the assistant manager so I'm trying to make this place work. We recently had an inspection by the HI people and we got 100%. Thank god for that. The job is good, despite the low numbers of guests. Opening up a hostel is on my to-do list in life so this is definitely a step in the right direction.

I'm thinking about the rest of July and August and realized I'll be all over the place and busy. I've never had such an eventful summer in the states.

I went camping this past weekend. I had only been camping once before when I was younger and have a vague recollection about it. I definitely remembered the toilets..can't forget those. It was fun though but I forgot to bring my camera of course. I hope to go again and again since I now have all the gear for camping and it's not too far of a drive to get to the sites. I would also like to go for more than one night haha.

Football:I have tickets to the AC Milan vs LA Galaxy match. I paid a ridiculous amount of money for the tickets. I still don't know who I am taking. Beckham is returning from his one year loan from AC Milan, back to the Galaxy but since the game is on the 19th and Beckham has a tendency to be a dickwad, I have a feeling he won't play. Whatever. On the 21st is more football fun. There's an international friendly with Chelsea vs Inter Milan which my brother got tickets for. I'm excited to see both Milan teams. Going to a Serie A match is also on my to do list in life but this is as close as I'm going to get seeing as how I can't make it to Europe any time soon.

Speaking of Europe, my dad is headed to Sicily soon which totally bums me out because this is the second year in a row I can't go. Last year I should have gone but I thought I'd find work which I never did. This year, I gotta work. Hopefully in the fall sometime I'll be able to go. I have to write my cousin a letter.

My friend Ed is coming the last 2 weeks of August so I have to start figuring out what to do. I like visitors and I'm excited to have Ed coming but I hope I can be fully entertaining so he doesn't get bored- hence why I should plan some things to do so I'm not stuck wondering. Perhaps looking an LA guide book will inspire me.

I'm going on a trip in September. Nothing huge, small really, and I'm 90% sure I'm gonna go. My dearest Brit friend Tori is headed to the states for some bluesy vacation so I think I'm meeting her in Memphis. I've never been to Memphis but she has so it should be fun. The home of the blues and graceland? I'm down. I can't wait plus I'll be going to a region of the United States I've never even been to. I have to buy my tickets ASAP.

Can anyone else believe we're already half-way through July? INSANITY!

California is an embarrassment to humanity

California high court upholds gay marriage ban

By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Writer Lisa Leff, Associated Press Writer – 10 mins ago

SAN FRANCISCO – The California Supreme Court upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.

Demonstrators outside the court yelled "shame on you!"

The 6-1 decision written by Chief Justice Ron George rejected an argument by gay rights activists that the ban revised the California Constitution's equal protection clause to such a dramatic degree that it first needed the Legislature's approval.

The court said the Californians have a right, through the ballot box, to change their constitution.

"In a sense, petitioners' and the attorney general's complaint is that it is just too easy to amend the California Constitution through the initiative process. But it is not a proper function of this court to curtail that process; we are constitutionally bound to uphold it," the ruling said.

The justices said the 136-page majority ruling does not speak to whether they agree with Proposition 8 or "believe it should be a part of the California Constitution."

They said they were "limited to interpreting and applying the principles and rules embodied in the California Constitution, setting aside our own personal beliefs and values."

The announcement of the decision set off an outcry among a sea of demonstrators who had gathered in front of the San Francisco courthouse awaiting the ruling. Holding signs and many waving rainbow flags, they yelled "shame on you." Many people also held hands in a chain around an intersection in an act of protest.

Gay rights activists immediately promised to resume their fight, saying they would go back to voters as early as next year in a bid to repeal Proposition 8.

The split decision provided some relief for the 18,000 gay couples who married in the brief time same-sex marriage was legal last year but that wasn't enough to dull the anger over the ruling that banned gay marriage.

"It's not about whether we get to stay married. Our fight is far from over," said Jeannie Rizzo, 62, who was one of the lead plaintiffs along with her wife, Polly Cooper. "I have about 20 years left on this earth, and I'm going to continue to fight for equality every day."

Also in the crowd gathered at City Hall, near the courthouse, were Sharon Papo, 30, and Amber Weiss, 32, who were married on the first day gay marriage was legal last year, June 17.

"We're relieved our marriage was not invalidated, but this is a hollow victory because there are so many that are not allowed to marry those they love," Weiss said.

"I feel very uncomfortable being in a special class of citizens," Papo said.

The state Supreme Court had ruled last May that it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to wed. Many same-sex couples had rushed to get married before the November vote on Proposition 8, fearing it could be passed. When it was, gay rights activists went back to the court arguing that the ban was improperly put to voters and amounted to a revision — which required legislative approval — not an amendment.

That was the issue justices decided Tuesday.

"After comparing this initiative measure to the many other constitutional changes that have been reviewed and evaluated in numerous prior decisions of this court, we conclude Proposition 8 constitutes a constitutional amendment rather than a constitutional revision," the ruling said.

Justice Carlos Moreno wrote the dissenting opinion disagreeing that the proposition did not change the constitution's equal protection clause. He said the law denying same-sex couples the right to wed "strikes at the core of the promise of equality that underlies our California Constitution." He said it represents a "drastic and far-reaching change."

"Promising equal treatment to some is fundamentally different from promising equal treatment for all," said Moreno, who had been mentioned as a possible contender for the U.S. Supreme Court. "Promising treatment that is almost equal is fundamentally different from ensuring truly equal treatment."

catholic school children know how to party hard

I was a cradle catholic but now do not even associate myself with that religion other than being a fan of the gruesome religious art and architecture of churches. I went to catholic school my whole life. All of it. K-8, high school, and for some reason, chose a catholic university although there wasn't much that screamed "i'm still at a catholic school?!". There's definitely something about going to catholic school most of your life. You hear stories of crazy bible tales, nuns, rules and all sorts of crap. In catholic school, you're taught to be god fearing, and if you sin you must repent or your soul will burn in the pits of hell. I knew going through 9 years at Incarnation that we'd all be a little bit fucked in the head. I think we all knew that. We all formed a bond because it's better to pave your pathway to hell with friends than with stupid people.

I don't think I know many people that keep in touch with elementary school friends. For some reason, my friends and I from elementary school still see each other a few times during the year if not more. In a class of about 30 I think we'd be able to contact most if not all of our former classmates. Personally, I've seen about half of them in the last couple of years and regularly keep in contact with them. Even when we don't see each other that often, when we reconnect, everything falls back into place. I think it was being so close to each other during those formative years coupled with the evils of a catholic education that brought us together.

This weekend I hung out with a few people from my childhood. We graduated 8th grade 13 years ago. Most of them I met nearly 20 years ago so I think it's pretty good that we can keep in touch this long and party as hard as we always do despite failed marriages, kids, and overall insanity. People had little hope for the 8th grade class of 1996. Sure we can party all night with little to no sleep but we've been getting our shit done and for the most part, are doing well. Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, we're still a mess, we probably hate catholicism even more but in the end we've come out helping and understanding each other and have formed ever lasting (so far) bonds. We're like wounded veterans, the scars of battle will still be there but at least we have each other to count on and get through life.

melting....hot...hot...hot...

One of the top reasons why I HATE living in Los Angeles:

the HEAT...ugh hell on earth 100 degrees or 38ish for you Celsius folks. It's April, it's still spring, not summer, not HELL. Well, it might be closer to hell than spring.

hostelling indefinitely and other stuff with lots of pics

March felt like quite a busy month for me despite being unemployed for most of the month. I spent a lot of time not looking for a job and just relaxing, being social, ya know. Mojito organized a lovely pre-spring outing to Echo Park to do some paddle boating, eating, and stuffs. It was really nice and even though I've lived in LA my whole life I have never paddle boated on the lake so I was super jazzed to do it. Thankfully, the weather was perfect.





Our house, AgLago threw one of our infamous parties to welcome spring. It was a pretty good party complete with a discoball, 3 djs, homebrew beer, and live silk screening of an image of our late duck Gary. It was a great success and really fun.

I believe if you click the picture it will take you to the rest.

I finally decided to seriously look for a job since money was running low. Nothing looked promising but I found a posting for a temp position thru May working at a youth hostel. I jumped on that early in the week and by mid week I had interviewed and by the end of the week I was hired. So now I work for Hostelling International in San Pedro. San Pedro is located in the southbay part of Los Angeles. Completely different from areas closer to the city. I'm right by the ocean, different lifestyle, smaller town vibe and a bit San Francisco-ish. I live here on site and I'll probably be here through the summer while we're in full hostel operating mode. Right now it's the off season and we're only host educational programs and large groups. All that ends in May and then the second week of June the hostel opens up for all sorts of lovely travellers. Pay isn't that great but I don't have to pay rent and I have a nice view. It's good so far. I'm definitely less stressed and the only time I commute is to go back to the house on my off days. I gave up my room at Aglago since it seems ridiculous to pay for a spot that I'll only be at two or three times a week. I'll just bum it with Jimi in the tiny room again. Ahh like last year all over again hahaha.



See that row of little buildings behind the bell? Yeah that's the hostel.

My birthday was nothing super exciting. Plans to go to Disneyland sadly fell through. I had just started my job so I drove back the night before. I hung out with Junue, Lara, Liz and we had a sort of impromptu mini bday party. Junue's Ebt card + Pavillions + club card holders + a group of hot messes = fun. The evening was a bit hazy and so was my head so I ended up passing out earlier than I wanted to and woke up still "hazy" the next day. Note I said hazy, not hungover. Ha! The morning was full of more debacherous behavior until I stopped so I could be composed for the usual family b-day meal. We went to lunch since I was in the neighborhood. It was delicious. When I came home I went to happy hour with Clay and Lauren at El Conquistador for margaritas. It was pretty awesome and I'll have to go back there again. We returned home to a house meeting and cupcakes courtesy of Patsy. Overall I spent my bday with various friends which was super nice. My birthday gifts are appointments to the dentist and eye doctor. Sigh. 27 years old. Oye. I feel like it could be a good year. 7 is one of my lucky numbers and I'm getting a good vibe from 27 so far.

I'm excited for the coming months. I'm excited to explore San Pedro and learn more about this part of Los Angeles that I know nothing about- not to mention it's like a whole other world down here (separate entry will eventually come). I'm excited to learn how to fly a kite haha. Yay.

news of the week

What a week so far for news...

First, this earthquake in Italy. What a fucking nightmare. I'm a seasoned vet when it comes to living through earthquakes but then again, I live in LA where retrofitting is standard and buildings up to code are all over the place. However, central Italy, or any part of Italy really for that matter, is not prepared for earthquakes or any other disasters. Trust me I saw "firemen" beating out a fire by hand the size of the Griffith Park fire. They lack resources to be safe from natural disasters and it's sad because there is so much history involved (let's not forget I was a history major).I cried when I saw pics of this church. A 14th century structure gone in minutes. It's just tragic to see a town destroyed like that because a lot of Italy is constructed the same way many of these structures in L'Aquila are made. This could happen all over. Plus I have family in Italy (Sicily) and it kinda puts me through it to think that this could happen there. Old buildings, not safe for earthquakes. Sigh. History, dead. Double sigh.

While I'm on the topic of tragic news, the story about Nick Adenhart, an up and coming pitcher for the Angel's baseball team was horrifically killed last night in a car crash in Fullerton. I'm not a baseball fan but the story just kills me because hours before he had played an amazing game and was starting to get attention and was well on his way to being a baseball great. 22 years old, dead from a drunk driver. NEVER DRIVE DRUNK. Not only is he dead, but two others are as well all because a 22 year old douche bag made a bad choice. Not just one bad choice, no, this was his second and obviously last DUI because his ass is going to jail for life at this point.

In lighter news Officials: Pirates, terrorists not linked directly! I love this headline. Now that the U.S. has been raped and pillaged by the pirates, it must have something to do with terrorism. Cuz before I never heard terrorism linked with pirates. The Somali pirates are at it again! I've been fascinated with these Somali pirates for months. Ruthless bastards! I never thought I'd hear about real piracy on the high seas in this day and age.

And lastly, in completely ridiculous news, here's a reason not to have kids in this technologically driven society. THIS BITCH a 13 yr old, racked up a phone bill to the price tag of $4,756.25 due to excessive texting with out a text messaging plan. Even if they did have a plan, that shit still would have been at least 2k. How do you manage to send out 300 texts a day? How stupid are you to not ask your parents if you have unlimited texting. I'd ground that bitch until she graduated high school and make her get a job the minute she turns 15 to pay me back, interest included. The best part is that her dad took a hammer to the phone. I can picture myself getting all cray at my kid and making a scene and dramatically smashing the phone to bits. Epic.

And that my friends is my commentary on news stories this week. Maybe soon I will have an update of my personal news aka my life. HA

farewell our fine feathered friend

Our dearly beloved duck Gary was slaughtered sometime yesterday by some vicious blood thirsty raccoons. We know he fought the good fight to defend Goldie, the hen. He will always be remembered for his incessant quacking at inanimate objects, various attempts to hang out on the sidewalk, and his overall love for life at AgLago. We will seek revenge on your killers, homie. Rest in peace.

money hungry bastards

you know what grinds my gears? the fact that LA is celebrating the return of Manny Ramirez for a hefty multimillion dollar deal. a deal that went back and forth, starting off with a ridiculous sum of money and finally settled at the mere price of 45million for a two year contract. how could that sum of money be so publicly discussed with out anyone feeling guilty about how ridiculous it is. roughly 12 million a year to play sports while everyone else in LA is suffering. Unemployment in LA is at an all time high, education has gone to shit and it going to face a budget cut unheard of and this dude is getting 12 mil? it just doesn't seem right. however, i did read that, supposedly, he is donating 1million (1, only 1 of 12 million?!) to the Dodger Dream Foundation. Great, more kids will have baseball fields to play in. I guess that's better than kids having nothing to do when the whole education system in LA collapses completely. how about you donate another million or two to LAUSD, Manny? Or maybe to homelessness? How about that? i'm not just trying to hate on Manny, who is loved by too many people; i'm hating on all these sports bastards that get paid too much and don't give back enough, especially during these "trying times".

no hope for LA

For anyone living in LA that happens to be reading this, what the fuck? How did Villaraigosa get re-elected? I used to live in Glendale and felt there was no hope left for Glendale politics but LA got them beat. I feel like one of the few that voted and now I have the liberty to bitch and complain about LA politics! Wonderful!

This past Tuesday was an election, supposed to be a primary but at the numbers of the votes showed that Villaraigosa won by 55% of the vote. Re-elected. I think everyone was just exhausted and tired after the whole Presidential election. The Presidential election was all over the place and in your face everywhere you went. Everyone was distracted by that; too distracted to realize that elections for Mayor of LA were coming up. There were barely any fliers in the mail, no commercials, no real signs of an upcoming primary election. The only reason why I knew was because I got my sample ballot. There was just no real opposition to Villaraigosa. Sure there were plenty of candidates running against him but none of them campaigned enough or got their shit together on time. Even the news was saying how they didn't expect voter turn out to be high at all. I think they mentioned something around maybe 10% turn out. I believe they said the voter turn out for President was 82%. What the fuck Los Angeles?! It's great to be involved and jazzed about the President but let's be real here. Is Obama going to fix this clusterfuck of a city? LA is a hot mess and now it's going to get worse with Villaraigosa back in power. Self-interested, rich, corporate bastards that work to exploit education, the working class, and anyone else that isn't going to pay them to take their pictures. It's ridiculous. Like all the signs around the neighborhood read: Obama may be President but he's not going to fix LA. It's true, LA needs some fixing and now look what happened. An opportunity for change and we blew it. No one turned out to vote. It was a joke. The polling place was dead. In fact there were barely any signs other than printed out arrows and an American flag that indicated that I had arrived at my polling place. Not even a sign on the sidewalk just in cased you missed the little fence opening on the side of the building to get in. Disappointing. At least measure E seems to not have passed and I'm hoping measure B also retains the No vote. I just don't trust them. I just have a bad feeling about the way the city is being and will be run. I fear it will get even worse before it can get better. Kinda like our economy of the U.S., ha! On that note, I'm gonna put my unemployed ass to bed.

collective laziness

I'm going crazy. I really need some motivation. Apparently my room situation, my collectively lazy faux-op, and over all MESS everywhere isn't enough?

I'm so done with everything and I just want to find a new job somewhere else. I'm dying to go back to the Bay Area but I can't bring myself to look for a job. I know I need to find solace and this isn't the place for it.

I feel like my job credentials and education aren't enough- too lackluster, worthless, spotty.

I'd really like my old self back that was motivated and active and did things and was generally happy? How did I end up this way and how am I to fix it?

Perhaps if I stop writing this nonsense I could get things done.

Other than having another "crisis" my life is pretty borrrring. I went to a rave on Saturday night which was fun and freezing. I got to see a few people I hadn't seen in ages. It was good times, definitely a little throw back to high school being at a rave and all. It was nice though because it was 21+. Lucent Dossier was definitely the best part of the night and I'd say their show is worth checking out.

there's paint all over my hands

i feel an old chapter of my life ending and a new one starting...i'm not sure where this will take me or what i'll do but i'll damned well enjoy every waking minute of it. i'm open to change and excitement..new thrills and old fun...new people and some old friends too.

part of me is itching for the wind to blow me far away.

part of me is itching for the ground to keep me here.

however, if i find the way to making me happy involves moving, i'm going...going for it...not let anything or anyone hold me back...i'm taking back myself...reclaiming what i dropped ages ago...starting anew, yes.

february is going to be a good month...and will jumpstart my ass into loving life in 2009

i can never win

I feel like a loser at life. i'm almost 27 and i have nothing to show for it. i feel like i keep getting screwed over all the time. i go to school, it gets me nowhere. i go again, same thing. my resume has gaps all over the place and no cohesiveness. i suck. i'll be unemployed in two weeks with no job prospects anywhere in the los angeles area. my relationship is done. i need a new place to live but can't afford to move so i'm thinking i'll be back at my parents' house by march. i really just want to kill people and break things. i'm extremely angry and think it's completely unfair that i'm in this situation while i see a lot of people my age excelling and being successful- in general, at life. where did i go wrong? what am i supposed to do? who will give me a chance? i'm so stressed that i woke up this morning feeling like my shoulders and neck were inflated like balloons. i also have had this middle back pain that is not helping the stress pain now engulfing my shoulders. i'm at the end of my rope. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't know where to go...what job to look for, nothing. i feel completely hopeless. i also feel like this has been the recurring theme the last few years. i just can't win.

i am so angry i can't even take it anymore

The amount of anger I have toward my job is astronomical. I'm on the verge of quitting with out having a new job lined up...I don't even care if it takes me forever to find a new one. I can't stand the idea, the thought of going to work. They lie and cheat us out of our fair pay by having the most fucked up policies. How am I supposed to be penalized for the fact that no one is shopping? NO ONE. All day I've been stewing with anger. ANGRY that I have to find a new job because I know at the end of the month I'll be told that I'm sucking and that I won't be able to stay much longer. Definitely not after February. Why should I be scammed out of my wages because the economy is shit? How can they deny that the economy is crap? How can they get away with lying to us telling us that we get 6.75% commission rates on all clothing when in fact half the stuff we sell we're getting 5%. Oh OOPS, they must have overlooked that little detail! What really angers me is that they know they're screwing people over and they don't give A DAMN.

I'm scrambling to find a new job so I can put in my two weeks and say FUCK YOU BLOOMINGDALES!!!!!!!!! The only problem is, I can't find any jobs to apply for! I feel constantly dicked over by any job I've ever held and my qualifications go unseen by the jobs I really want to get. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I just want to SCREAM!!@!$@#!@#@$

I'm at the point where I want to start a new life. A huge part of me doesn't want to bother looking for work here in Los Angeles. This could be the time for me to relocate like I've been wanting to do for 4 years now. I know enough people in major cities that I can go there and apply to jobs and see what happens. This is something I've been seriously considering within the last few weeks. It's just a hard decision to make because it involves making a bunch of choices.

2009 wtf?

Is it really New Year's Day? It doesn't feel like it (I had to work today, which sucked). Just like Christmas didn't feel like Christmas and I wasn't in the mood..same with Thanksgiving, Halloween and every other holiday this year. Everything seemed completely uninteresting and generic and un-holiday like. Days were and are just days. Nothing had significance to me anymore, at least in 2008. 2008 was not what I wanted it to be. I had expectations and ambitions and they all just went *poof*. I lost all motivation to do anything, spent the entire summer broke, bored, unemployed and bitter. I barely saw anyone this year and found myself alone for the most part. I quit one crappy job and ended up in yet another crappy job. The economy collapsed and I suffered and am still suffering barely living off the little bit of money I'm getting from a lotta work I'm doing. I moved twice and I think I'm on the verge of moving a third time. I started a relationship but now it feels like it could be ending all because I need to get my life together. Am I being selfish? I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure it out.

I plan to actually do things this year. I'm tired of everything and I want to change it all. At this point, everything is up in the air and on the rocks so I guess slowly but surely I'll get things rolling and get myself squared away.

2009 resolution: Get a new life and some ambition