there's paint all over my hands

i feel an old chapter of my life ending and a new one starting...i'm not sure where this will take me or what i'll do but i'll damned well enjoy every waking minute of it. i'm open to change and excitement..new thrills and old fun...new people and some old friends too.

part of me is itching for the wind to blow me far away.

part of me is itching for the ground to keep me here.

however, if i find the way to making me happy involves moving, i'm going...going for it...not let anything or anyone hold me back...i'm taking back myself...reclaiming what i dropped ages ago...starting anew, yes.

february is going to be a good month...and will jumpstart my ass into loving life in 2009

2009 wtf?

Is it really New Year's Day? It doesn't feel like it (I had to work today, which sucked). Just like Christmas didn't feel like Christmas and I wasn't in the mood..same with Thanksgiving, Halloween and every other holiday this year. Everything seemed completely uninteresting and generic and un-holiday like. Days were and are just days. Nothing had significance to me anymore, at least in 2008. 2008 was not what I wanted it to be. I had expectations and ambitions and they all just went *poof*. I lost all motivation to do anything, spent the entire summer broke, bored, unemployed and bitter. I barely saw anyone this year and found myself alone for the most part. I quit one crappy job and ended up in yet another crappy job. The economy collapsed and I suffered and am still suffering barely living off the little bit of money I'm getting from a lotta work I'm doing. I moved twice and I think I'm on the verge of moving a third time. I started a relationship but now it feels like it could be ending all because I need to get my life together. Am I being selfish? I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure it out.

I plan to actually do things this year. I'm tired of everything and I want to change it all. At this point, everything is up in the air and on the rocks so I guess slowly but surely I'll get things rolling and get myself squared away.

2009 resolution: Get a new life and some ambition