01 January 2009

2009 wtf?

Is it really New Year's Day? It doesn't feel like it (I had to work today, which sucked). Just like Christmas didn't feel like Christmas and I wasn't in the mood..same with Thanksgiving, Halloween and every other holiday this year. Everything seemed completely uninteresting and generic and un-holiday like. Days were and are just days. Nothing had significance to me anymore, at least in 2008. 2008 was not what I wanted it to be. I had expectations and ambitions and they all just went *poof*. I lost all motivation to do anything, spent the entire summer broke, bored, unemployed and bitter. I barely saw anyone this year and found myself alone for the most part. I quit one crappy job and ended up in yet another crappy job. The economy collapsed and I suffered and am still suffering barely living off the little bit of money I'm getting from a lotta work I'm doing. I moved twice and I think I'm on the verge of moving a third time. I started a relationship but now it feels like it could be ending all because I need to get my life together. Am I being selfish? I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure it out.

I plan to actually do things this year. I'm tired of everything and I want to change it all. At this point, everything is up in the air and on the rocks so I guess slowly but surely I'll get things rolling and get myself squared away.

2009 resolution: Get a new life and some ambition