the newer twilight zone is a joke

seriously, it sucks. it's all live looking and less old and creepy filmy..ugh...i'm wasting my buzz on this trash.

what i really want to be doing right now is having a seance to contact my friend nick who killed himself a year ago today. i'd just like to chat it up a bit. you know, shoot the shit. anyway, my medium powers aren't in full swing at the moment. ha!. i need to get some ice cream. steal a beer or something and get to business....and turn this really crappy twilight zone off before i feel sober again.

speaking of business, i've got mice traps to set and wood to glue and caulking to be done...call me miz fix-it, bitches

still sorta sick rants

Following suit with my last rant...

and for fucks sake what is with these winds and crazy dry air...OH not to mention SMOGGY AS ALL BROWN HELL TODAY ugh. Not only was I battling my sickness being outside for my yard sale, I was also breathing in nice brown air...MMMMM..delicious....SICK! Maybe if douche bags like the caravan of "Yes on 8" supporters that honked their way down Sunset stopped driving their fancy vehicles I wouldn't have brown lung. How about that?

Speaking of the asshat caravan...DO NOT come into MY neighborhood EVER AGAIN, HONKING WILDLY in support of prop 8...JUST DON'T...because not only will you have to deal with me and my incessant BOOING, I will have prepared an army against prop 8 armed with whips and chains, footlong dildos, and lots of rage. I hope all that tape used to plaster your fancy vehicles with posters fucked up your paint job.

sick rants

I feel like I'm stuck in a glass box living in LA. I just can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to move or find a job again since I just got one. I'm just really frustrated, a bit unhappy, and I just want a change. I'm over the stagnancy and routine of every aspect of my life around me.

And for fucks sake can the heat just QUIT?!?! I'm so over these heat waves.

the fruits of my labor flaunted in public

So as my previous posts allude to, I work in a place that is visited sometimes by celebs of all sorts. Anywho, as an avid dlisted reader I stumbled upon this lovely picture of Phoebe Price wearing the furry Free People vest I sold her just weeks before.
She was really stoked for the vest so I'm glad to see her wearing it because that means it won't get returned. Thanks Phoebe!

i fought the law and won,duh

Dear Douche-bag Sheriff of North Northern California,

You suck, but we knew that already when you gave me that bogus speeding ticket just outside of Weed CA. I was not going to fall victim to your douchery, no, No! I planned to fight, and fight I did in the best way possible. My fighting paid off and I hope you look more like a douche-bag Sheriff than you already were. Hell, I hope worse things happened to you, asshat. Now I shall wait for my $150 to be sent back to me so I can go to the bank and flaunt my check written out to me from you sad sad excuses for law enforcement. Thanks for the hassle, it paid off. Ha!

Yours,
urban-pirate

sitings again

I forgot to add Kristen Cavallari to the previous post. She actually was a nice person contrary to popular belief..oh reality television how i love thee. anywho a few days ago my sitings were on fire.

my day started off with a run to the cheese store for a sandwich to take from work..by the way the sandwich was way too goat cheesy for me but i still ate it since it cost me a dime to buy..anyway as i walked over there in my kitty cat pajama pants, with a house dress over it and a hoodie to cover it all (yeah i must have looked grrrrreat), i spot randy, earl's brother from the show My Name is Earl. I actually have to google to find out his real name..ahh Ethan Suplee...very well...i saw him and a lady friend outside of the cheese store...i had to bite my lip hard to stop the giggling..if you know me, i love the show..so all i could think of was the oafishness of randy shining through.

later on at work i was told that a famous MILF was in the house shopping, quite possibly for an outfit for her daughter's big 16th birthday bash. yes, you guessed it, Miley's mama...not just her mama but the rest of the cyrus brood. all i'm gonna say is, watch out for her little sister...she seems like a force
to be reckoned with...i'm just saying...

on my break i decided to give it to buying coffee..i have issues many times buying coffee for way more than it's really worth. my spot of choice is the bean over the bucks which is conveniently located outside of my job establishment. while i was standing waiting for my tasty treat i glance over and notice and older man slightly greying in the hair..wait, i know who that is! it's
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE..blending in completely until some girls spot him and ask to take a pic...and he agreed..what a nice fellow.

lastly, on Monday there was just one siting, but a good one at that..
yes..the little darling herself, nicole richie. she's tiny..like a pixie tiny..not anorexic or anything..she's one of the smallest humans my age..how did a baby come out of her? i don't know. she was with 2 friends...i was bummed that there was no harlow with her..they totally were checking out the perfume store..you know the ones i'm talking about..floor to ceiling of shit. anywho, they hit up the bean afterwards...i should just hang out at the bean and celeb hunt on my lunch break.

today starts yet another jewish high holiday which means my job will be filled with nothingness...woo!

sitings of dlisters and other people we know and love or forgot about

i'm "blessed" if you will, to have a job in a locale that attracts people of some level of wealth. wealth usually brings assholes, nice people or celebrities of some sort. i do get all sorts of interesting customers but i'd like to keep track of the ones with any sort of claim to "fame"

sarah silverman showed up the night of the emmys, ten minutes before the store was going to close...well done sarah..she was a bit frantic looking for a simple black skirt. i told her where to look, she probably thought i was following her and yeah..nice girl..come back to shop sarah

anyone remember that episode of "true life: i'm a staten island" girl? i swear, swear that the one chick that was trying to get rid of her accent showed up to return something..convinced..she looked like a hollywood barbie sans blonde hair..a bit tragic but it had to be her..it just had to..i managed to contain my laughter at the situation

TOPANGA...don't deny that you used to watch boy meets world...this was more of a walk by siting later confirmed by a customer that was excitedly phoning home to a relative to say she saw a celebrity..ahem...poor girl...anywho i was on my way to other places when i spotted her in the watches area...i still don't know who thought it was cool to turn her character from the weird but cool and awkward girl to the uber girly girl crushing for cory..ugh

my fav and best encounter so far was none other than dlisted finest, phoebe price. i was super giddy to see her and had to contain my giggles as i attended to ms. price and her mama ms. denise p. yes, ms. d.p. was such a delight. too bad phoebe looked like a "sack" in the dress being returned otherwise it would have been a-ok. mama price, you rock..phoebe, you're alright despite the mad shit people talk...rock on

this is a work in progress ha!